Confessions: the truth about bullying

Hello everybody!
Today I’m discussing the topic of Bullying which seems to be so visible nowadays… 

Clarifying things:
Bullying is not about someone you know or goes to your school who is pulling some verbal violante phrases on you or harming you in a physical way.. but rather then…community on its self seems to harass you.. Put names on you such as “stupid” just because you didn’t know what to do at that moment which was too visible for everybody… but all of your previous perfect decisions have totally been neglected..
Or a “whore” because you wear short clothes in public places..
Or “easy-going” just because you’re pretty and standing alone..
And these names keep on hunting you like your nicknames…trying to fit you in the caractere knowing deep down that…it’s simply not you.

I think I’ve had the worst case of this…being harassed for being good!

How does it feel to be harassed by strangers?

From a personal point view:
Like being stepped on.. while totally rejecting it…

I’ve had this thing through my life path and this daily struggle of not giving in to it…to the feeling of abandonance.. you know,,Like: “you don’t exist..we’re going to impose ourselves on you till you can’t breath”…
I think this is kind of a huge battle…
That one decision can determine our lives..futur..everything..

I’ve been through this bitter feeling at school.. high school…
the funny thing is that it happens in college…by: girls.
Girls who try to do this form of sexualization to make you feel lower then them in one way or another…

It’s funny right?.. the place which you’ve always fought to be in.. but ironically!! it’s the same scene… again!!..diffrent faces.. same hate and rejection..diffrent shapes..same empty souls and heartless creatures.

I truly insisted on the word “girls” because they seem to be so pretty and controllable over everything in their lives..

God !! It’s insane!!
I look around me sometimes..in this big university in Lyon.. finding myself between diffrent people..in a strange country.. checking my clock every second of each hour… wondering.. am I being missed??

By anyone??

I remember having boyfriends.. it was horrible…
All they thought about is “HOW am I going to play her like I did previously with other girls”,, rather then… love her..heal her.. be there for her when ever she needs me…

It feels like there is always that destructive plan towards females which seems to be implanted in most of males minds …

I guess this is another add to the list of  bullying.. being forced to give while you… “hoped” to receive as much love and affection which makes you fill the holes in your soul.

My personal vision towards people has changed a little bit when I met my girlfriend.. who showed me what care looks like..

I’m afraid of telling myself I like her…
I fear that my selfish thoughts would corrupt her perfect image…

I’ve always been a slave to my sick arrogance…I love myself too much to share it with anyone…
I’m afraid my eyes betrays me when I look at her… It’s a constant struggle to keep myself to myself around her…

I get nervous to look at her… I fear that people sees it in my eyes..to get laughed at.. and pulled jokes on about my sexuality… which I’m still not sure of yet!

They keep on observing us when we’re together..I get stone cold towards her… for our safety..

This is to my mind.. the deepest types of bullying.. to be forced not to feel… because you know that you’ll get rejected by the masses.. for not being…them.

I have this thought in my head of me and my beautiful girlfriend being on a vacation in a country which ecknoledge our rights and free of choice..and that’s worth fighting for..

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29 thoughts on “Confessions: the truth about bullying

  1. Ella, this was really very wrenching. It was very difficult to read the struggles that you’ve gone, cannot even imagine the sheer pain that you might have faced. I am sorry for the wrong deeds that have happened to you. Being a guy, I cannot even think of using a girl and then dumping her. Being in love is such a wonderful feeling and I can imagine how bad would have been for you when you got to know those perverts were just using you.
    YOU DEFINITELY ARE ONE BRAVE GIRL ELLA AND I AM SURE YOUR GIRLFRIEND MUST BE DAMN PROUD OF YOU. JUST TO END UP WITH, Je t’aime douce âme. Well, I know a bit of french but not much, I hope you get what I mean..hehe..

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey Piyush.. wooow it’s been a while now!! 😕
      Thank you very much for taking time to read this post which is totally a real biography.♡
      Thank you for your support also..this shows that you’re a really caring person and that’s hard to find nowadays!!
      Yes she is very proud actually..and I love her for that!!
      (Haha… I loved the French accent by the way…keep it going 😂😂)

      Liked by 1 person

      • I hope you’re good Ella…was pretty curious to know that you’re doing good and I assumed that France might have been serving you premium.
        One thing I must say that your girlfriend is one lucky girl, eh…. and somewhere down the line I might feel jealous of her…hehehe…
        Also, I have done 2 years of French so can throw a phrase or two..hehehe…thank you for appreciating.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bullying happens so much on anonymous messaging apps. I have been bullied for several years now and it happens mostly on social media. People take advantage of anonymous messaging apps and it happens to so many people. There have been so many suicides because of apps like them. Could you guys sign my petition (and share where possible) to get apps like Sarahah and other anonymous messaging apps banned. They do more harm than good. Here is the petition link:
    https://www.change.org/p/theresa-may-mp-ban-anonymous-messaging-apps-like-sarahah

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh I’m soo sorry to hear that.
      Hold on there… trust me you’re soo not alone in that situation!!
      And yes thank you very much for informing me about your petition.. I’ve just signed it!!
      Good job… 🐙🐙
      Hopefully things turn out for the best to you!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I read your post, I don’t deny it, with great emotion. You are in Lyon, in a place where “in theory” you shouldn’t have problems being yourself, but between what says the law and what happens in reality the difference is often huge, I see it here in Italy, and I think that in France things are more or less identical. I have to say that to write a post like that, you have had a huge courage and this tells a lot about the person you are and the fact that you will not give up and will fight to the end the battle for your personal freedom and at the same time for a step towards civilization.

    Like

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